Posted by: hockeygrl1 | June 29, 2011

Don’t judge the book by it’s cover

Wouldn’t it be great if people would talk to you before getting on opinion of you? Or maybe understand a little of your background before passing judgement? It seems that in our society we jump to conclusions just bu looking at someone or by knowing one fact about them. The people who are the worst are women.

Yes, I am a woman and just as guilty as others. this was a topic of discussion among a group of friends at Spud Fest this weekend. We all agreed that it happens and all agreed it was wrong.

This subject is even closer to me because of illness and a looming class reunion. I’m debating on how much of my current situation I should share with my old classmates. Most probably know because of Facebook and this blog, but I’m sure some of them has chosen the “show less from this person” option.

Since my diagnosis and major changes in my life, I have been more accepting, but I do still find myself looking at someone and coming to judgments.

I guess what bothers me most is size. I’ve done it before; looked at someone and thought or said, “Why don’t they do something to lose weight.” It can go the other way too. Thinking, “Why don’t they eat to gain weight.”

I know that both these situations can happen because of medical reasons now. Most of the time, other than a person being thin or fat, you can’t tell the person is sick. For me, before the doctor’s knew what was wrong, I was rapidly losing weight. I was thrilled, but sick. I couldn’t eat because of nausea. I was losing weight in an unhealthy way. Here’s a pic of skinny me:

The weight stayed off for 6 months than the high steroids and water weight from bad kidneys kicked in. Now I’m on the other side. I’m over weight and even with a diet and exercise, I can’t get it to come off. I know how people look at me because, like I said, I’ve looked at people that way. Current me:

How do I feel about it now? It sucks! Because I don’t look sick, people look at me differently.

They may be thinking I’m lazy or that I eat too much. Neither of these are true. In fact some days I’m so sick to eat much of anything. I do take care of myself. I cook my meals at home, most are from scratch. I figure I have enough toxins from medications running through  my veins. The preservatives in frozen and canned foods don’t need to add to my toxic blood. Besides, I’m already fighting high blood pressure. The extra salt isn’t needed. I only drink coffee, tea, water or skim milk (most of the time). No sugary soda for me, and the diet sweetener give me headaches. Did you know, a can of soda has 1/4 cup of sugar!!! Holy shit!!!

What do I want to come of this rant? I wish people (men) would talk to me and find out how great I am before coming to a judgement. I’m single and would really like to be dating some one. I know guys have a thing about being sexually attracted to a woman’s body, but how about being turned on by her mind or personality? I have a great personality. I’m a fighter and don’t let things get me down. I’ve raised 2 children on my own with no financial or physical help from their father. I put myself through college. I love sports, including NASCAR. Music is a passion of mine; listening to bands live is a favorite. Doesn’t all that sound like someone you’d like to know better? Give me a chance!

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Responses

  1. Thank you for writing this. It’s nice to know I am not alone!


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