Posted by: hockeygrl1 | July 31, 2011


Last night I had the best time out with my friends. It was so good that I even felt normal (except for the fact I didn’t drink).

What do I mean by that…..

Normal: Pain was at a minimum. Sure I had an occasional nerve pain in my legs or arms, but it was manageable. I didn’t feel tired. I don’t know if this means my fatigue is going down or if it was because the pain level was lower, but I liked it. I was able to just be there, all there in mind, body and spirit, and it felt really good.

I can’t explain it. You all might think I’m crazy (hell, I might be), I don’t care. (those of you who went threw HPII know what I’m talking about) I was truly in the moment. No outside distractions, no inside (my head) distractions either. I wasn’t even distracted by looking for a guy to meet. I figure if it’s the right time it will happen. Listening to the music and seeing my friends up on stage loving what they are doing and being with my closest friends helped. (there are a couple that weren’t there. I still love you too)

I don’t know how to say this or if it makes sense at all, but I didn’t even care about how I looked to others or how large I’ve gotten. I just had fun!

I don’t think I’ve been at this place for a few years now. It feels really good. I hope it stays and it means I’m turning a good corner in my life and things are looking up. After all, that’s the only way things can go when you’re at the bottom.

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